Shadow Emerges

I may have been his imaginary friend.

He was just a year and eight months older.

He may have seen me being born but was not aware it was me.

I saw him from next-door neighbour’s second-floor window shouting my name, crying, looking for me — while I look on and giggle that he hasn’t seen and found me yet.

He was my first playmate in Boggle. He cried when he got a chess set gift instead of a guitar. But got pretty darn good at playing chess — I was always losing! He learned to ride his bike going ’round and around the garage – for a week.

I’d always pull his hairs and scratch him with my long nails but he doesn’t fight back. He’ll just tease me to death and I’ll cry and cry and pull his hairs harder!

He’s very good in dancing and was always part of a dance troupe. Once I caught him with his classmates (all boys) dancing Pearly Shell all goofy and girly.

Schoolmates and neighbours couldn’t tell us apart. I’d always be mistaken as him if I had my hair cut really short (I’d like to think of it as Demi Moore’s Ghost hair – not GI Jane’s!). Most of the time, it was done purely as a joke and for fun. I guess because we have the same smile. It’s a trademark.

Brings me Sprinkles cupcakes. He knows I haven’t tried them yet.

And texts me early in the morning (for him) today to let me know of a SIG Alert on my route.



He’s all grown up now. Still wakes up early for cartoons.

He’s Kuya, my big brother.

SIG ALERT on the I-15

My brother texts me this morning (too early for him) about an accident today just as I was driving out the garage.

So I looked it up on the CHP website. Yup a sig alert. But it was on the I-15N, which was the other way.

I still went my way. Listening to the traffic on the radio, it said that traffic was BOTH ways. There was a wrong-way driver on the freeway who hit a big rig. Big rig explodes engulfing the freeway in flames. This was in Baseline – along my route.

So I decided to go on my old route when I was still parking at Fontana. Exited on Sierra Ave. and went on along Foothill Blvd until I get to the Rancho Cucamonga Metrolink. It took me about 20-25minutes more going along this route. Better this way than getting stuck on the freeway.

I still didn’t make my usual train but at least I got on the next one which is an hour later. Unlike yesterday. I missed my usual train and the next one an hour later! Then the next train was at 10:09am. So I got to work almost twelve! Sigh.


Hands Down, we have a winner!

This is it.

It’s unanimous. It’s unbelievable!

This month, October, is the winner: THE MONTH WITH THE MOST NUMBER OF ACCIDENTS

October 1st an accident
October 6 another one
October 13 another one
October 21 today’s accident

Hands down. Cajon Pass surely has overtaken my life.

I am late again today.

Beginning at Oak Hills, just at the entrance to the bypass lanes:
It was just beginning to get light.

Then an hour later: Sun has definitely risen. But we are not moving.

Almost at the scene of the accident:


Just as I passed the accident scene, I was sure I was gonna make my train (actually the next one already – for I had already missed my usual train by this time).

Unfortunately, I still didn’t make the second one. I missed it by six minutes!

Oh well! I’m just thankful I’m still alive!


(Almost) Lost Shoe

As I sit in the train
Trembling from the mad dash I just did.
Faster than the USS Flysenhower (from the movie, Planes, we just watched last night)
Can catapult
From zero to a gazillion knots
For that’s what my stomach
Felt like when I drove into the Metrolink Rancho Cucamonga train station
Seeing the train pulling in
While I furiously try to park
And remember to put my parking permit out and lock the car.

Looking into my clock, seven twenty-nine
I took a quick glance around
And hesitated for a second
Should I go or forgo?
Then I decided.
I came already from a long way,
We are finite creatures.
To not try and fight
The train doors I passed
With that, I let out a tiny yelp of success that I made it.
Yet I had to retrieve the black shoes that were caught in-between.

Picture source


Some Action Must Be Taken

As I was queuing for the check-out at the grocery, I noticed this lady in front of me. Her cart full – and another one too. She’s got four kids with her, ranging from ages 2-6 years old (I’m guessing) playing with their iPhones and iPads. She’s paying now – with Food Stamps.

I got chicken and was out in no time.

Going out the grocery and into the parking lot, this lady got into her car – an ESCALADE. For someone who can’t pay her food sure can afford an Escalade? What’s wrong with the system?

Did you know that a household with at least four kids in it, with minimum DECLARED income may receive up to SEVEN HUNDRED DOLLARS A MONTH! No wonder they can afford an Escalade!

I was told of one who’s got two of them! Both parents working full-time (cash basis). They’ve got a baby-sitter. They get $700++ food stamps from the government. And two Escalades.
This was relayed to me by one of my train mates.

Something is definitely wrong.

Then there’re the Yukon drivers who drive without car insurances. Isn’t it now illegal to drive without one (insurance)?

What happened to that?

You get into an accident and no insurance. Sorry.


Or an honest businessman shipping what the customer bought, shipping it as quickly as possible. Only the recipient calls the businessman claiming he got a rock instead. Such BS. But because bound by ‘rules’ clearly made for the consumer’s pleasure, businessman absorbs this cost.

Yet here I am paying my taxes and followed the immigration system waiting for years too long to count and become what I am today.

Only to subsidise this.

Mistaken Wish

I keep wishing everyday for more time
To enjoy my life more.
To cuddle with my babies. See their faces and hear their laughter for just a little while longer.

Today’s crash (another one yet again) at the Cajon Pass bypass lane,
Caused the freeway to close Momentarily for police and tow trucks to clear the way.


Didn’t realise that today my wish came true.
I missed my train.
Yet got another hour to spare
To write this poem to prove that my dream was badly misconstrued. :-(


Bypass: Now I Know Why The Need For One

I didn’t know my heart had a blockage — until last night.

For about two weeks now, I’ve been seeing the signs.


As I was driving up the Cajon Pass last night, I was distracted by the huge, magnificent moon! Perhaps I was already distracted by it and the itching temptation to take a snap of it, the trucks are everywhere and seem to be more ‘aggressive’ in driving. Because one lane (rightmost) was closed as you go towards the Summit, trucks are ‘fighting’ for their lane and mine! Now my tendency was to avoid them and change lanes (to the left) which leaves me next to the ‘bypass’ lane.
This is the bypass lane as you go down the Cajon Pass:


And this is what it looks like next to the bypass lane:


Imagine it during nighttime AND countless trucks on your RIGHT and LEFT!!! The possibilities of getting into an accident – I dare not entertain. I pray and keep my eyes on the road.


I did manage to take a photo after I’ve safely passed the trucks on my right. But on the left (bypass), they just kept coming. I nearly had a heart attack.

*Albeit based on real circumstances, I didn’t mean to alarm any of you – this post was just for drama purposes*

Drive safe, though and remember this sign:


Be Still and Know I’m With You

Musings on my commute:

Today I listen to The Fray’s Scars and Stories album. I gave this album a couple of years ago to my butler as I thought he’d enjoy it for he likes the band. But I think I enjoy it more ;-) I especially liked the songs, Be Still, I Can Barely Say and 48 To Go, especially on this gray overcast morning. Feels like it’s going to rain. With music like this, I feel the need for introspection!

Then there’s Fra Lippo Lippi too. I love listening to their piano-base style! I think that’s the common theme between the two groups.

For sometime now I am plagued with why I cannot ‘like’ a comment on my WP mobile app. I just don’t see an icon on where I could do it. But yesterday I finally found it. If I go to my posts section and hit preview, I could do it from there.

Will be still now and enjoy listening to my songs…

Official photo on The Fray website.