To James

Tags

,

You’ve played this scenario many times over

Secretly in your mind

Telling no one

Nothing prepared you for this moment.

Though, quite frankly, was kinda expecting it would lead to this.

Your worst fear has happened.

Hits like wet cement poured over you,

Can’t move. Can’t think.

As you wake today,

(As if you ever slept)

Gather all your strength and rise up.

Wish I had words to comfort you,

Quotes to tell you from those who’s been on this road before.

A chill in the air

As if you could care.

You just wish she were here,

And smell the scent of her hair.

Seven years of fighting this battle.

Mountains and mountains of seemingly never-ending miles to trek.

A battle fought so bravely and openly.

You’ve finally reached this point – crying.

This is, indeed, a moment that you can call yourself a wreck.

Heck, never mind that you’re a wreck,

A chaos in this fractal thing called life.

Never mind all that.

All that matters is you were there, to catch her fall

To bear the brunt of a great squall.

For no one can deny that,

And every body can see that,

She is your greatest love, after all.

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The Breath You Drew

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It has been a year since your passing
And every day you don’t know what you could be missing.
Do you think you could come back, stay a while
and send me a much-needed smile?

Funny how things ended
Though you always tell me carpe diem.
Mind you I tried, but physical strength is much needed,
More like please let it be heaven-sent.

Whenever I think of our conversations,
Tales of finding love at seventy plus!
Sheesh it’s just a number!
What you were really after here were the ooohs and aahs.

Someone who listens.
Someone who cares.
Someone who sends money,
Oh, wait that’s your sister!
Who, I think, had been jealous of our relationship even in your ever after.

Imagine that!
If you were alive, you would not allow that.
Maybe that’s why you’ve kept your distance
Intuitively knowing she could be like that.

I have never been the same.
Felt the void being replaced only by anger.
I know I shouldn’t be because you’re
with your honey now.
Enjoying exploring our majestic Mindanao.

So, cheers to your first year in Jewish heaven,
And happy birthday from me here clad in reflection.
As I go through the day thinking about you,
I light up a candle as you peep through the clouds along with the breath you drew.

A Hard Habit to Brake

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You read that right. No mistake on spelling.

When one is always on the go, there’s no time for stopping. Same as when I’m driving. I could go slow. But I never want to step on the brakes.

Except of course when I really have to.

I don’t understand it when a lot of people follow too close to the car in front of them and then brake almost always. I hate that.

I’d rather give a bit distance between my car and the car in front so I don’t always have to step on the brakes all the time.

There is a posit I have read sometime ago. It is argued that there would be no traffic if cars would keep the same distance between cars all the time.

In our world now, that is impossible.

Walking does not even give you that option.

People have different driving habits.

Some like to maintain a close distance. Some a longer distance. Others like to drive like there is nobody else driving in the world (read: the oblivious ones).

Thus, the introduction of driverless cars. With driverless cars, an even distance between cars would be maintained and an even order would be made.

I say, we still have a looong way of convincing people of that.

Take me, for example, I like driving. So, leaving the driving to a faceless driver that I can’t even talk to?

Hmph!