She knew she took those pills too late.
She knew she would be hearing from her mom saying I told you so.
Suddenly, she thought of Greg, son of her Dad’s colleague’s father-in-law, whom she rejected and just died of a heart attack recently.
She was so sorry and felt it was her fault somehow.
She thought of her life, how incomplete she feels now nearing her mid-forties. Will marrying make me happy?
What about kids?
Oh, she adored kids especially this one girl in this class she’s been teaching in. How her eyes grew big showing her how to make bubble fire with bursts of hydrogen.
Suddenly, she thought of that guy, in the corner street, whom she sees everyday and wonder what his name was and if he fancies her too.
She’ll never know.
And she sighed and said a prayer.
I woke up and got in the shower.
Meditating while in it,
Thinking about life
Thinking about some whys.
Breakfast laid out and ready,
Prepared dearly by my hubby.
Then call of work beckons
All thoughts of love banish instantly.
Driving through the freeway,
The same one everyday for the last eight years.
The same route, waiting at the same stop lights.
Getting into the train,
Seeing familiar faces
Fortunately(?), the same ones everyday.
Getting into traffic,
The same one just about – well, everyday.
Every one’s a humdrum.
None of the conundrum.
Even the same job for the last almost twenty years!
Until yesterday, I slipped that disc into that sliver opening – a long forgotten gap.
It ate it with such vigorous longing.
Like a fresh coat of paint,
Bright yellow on an old plank if wood.
Breathing seems easier despite today’s grayness.
Like freshly laundered bed linens and you’d want to dream again.
Like momma’s quotes of ain’t,
Hearing them again from a tongue you’d never spoken before.
Music sure does this to me.
Like falling in love again,
Giggling and glowing.
And all’s well again
And that’s all that mattered.
Sweating buckets weren’t we this week?
Excessive heat and dry conditions
Deemed perfect mix for allergies and flu maybe not for you but thriving for me
Then Mother Nature decided it was a wee bit too much punishment.
Shed a tear and two,
Thus the damp morning we experienced me and you.
Wear the best dress
Make sure it is well pressed
Everything should go as planned
Should there be a hitch, all is canned.
Going smoothly as every one’s present
Cars in all shapes and colors hell bent
On getting down this mountain
Though, for sure now will miss my train.
And miss I did,
Way even earlier I left the house,
Sleeping later would have been a plus.
Just happened that today the gods decided to descend among us.
And what better way to start the day with this provincial mouse?
As I sit in my car in the train station
A sinking feeling begins,
I missed the train by only a moment,
It’s my fault I should’ve left earlier especially after checking the heavy traffic upon descent.
A small red bit indicated on the traffic flow map, Meaning some parts could be slow.
Still, I insisted I could make it,
And hell bent on making it to the station, even going 90 miles per hour on occasion.
I was wrong, the train was on time this time,
And so I couldn’t do anything but wait for the next train and therein I could close my eyes and nap and try to not feel a bit of any sorrow.
After being revived just last spring
Paint coat gleaming with a good wash cleaning
A few months we were together
Here you are again, back to hubby’s body shop again, just when I thought it’s over.
So now when I put my foot down on the clutch,
But the clutch was nowhere to be found.
Put my hand in the ignition key,
And the ignition key was nowhere to be found!
After I managed to find my way around,
Instead, a stick that formed a somewhat straight line,
Park to drive to reverse, I found
“Performing” hashtags has been a titillating habit of mine.
From the first gear perfectly timed to line down to second gear, then
Fluidly going up to third easing into fourth then resting on fifth for the final stroke.
Fervently praying not to get stuck in traffic for a cramp be imminent,
Oh no! And definitely Not that again, that crazy driver bloke!
From manual to automatic
Driving strokes I sorely will miss.
Suddenly my hands had nothing to do.
After a few moments, I do realize that driving an automatic could be pure bliss.
Scent of fresh morning air
Only this time it’s hotter than usual
Getting back into the groove
Oh yeah, it’s back to work Monday
Relieving cool air train offers
Women putting on their make up and coiffer
Men asleep and soundly snoring
And so I better get ready to do some yawning.
Break out the convertible
Feel the air again blowing your cares away
Stitching the gaps in between, we take out the thimble,
And just go with the flow and be brave, come what may.
Drive forward we will,
Look backwards, I must
Back up and retreat and be at a standstill,
Will be on a break and be where to this wind will gust.
Started with a shiver
Followed by a fever three days later,
Sniff sniff sniff went the boy who never blew
Croaky throat and mucus insisted he never knew
But as bodies instinctively knew what to do,
Out came the liquids as he shouted, Aaachoooo!
By the boy who never blew.
*Inspired by the fact that there’s always someone in the train who just “sniffs” it in” (boy or girl)*
Bright and sunny attitude
Were her traits, fault I could not find
As I recall her not reciting, instead
Who knew the journey she took?
Beneath the cheer in her eyes and congenial smile
A low cloud lie
Which should have one take a hard, second look.
Doesn’t go always her way this weather
But I guarantee you,
No matter what the odds are,
To try and to defy her motto, more than ever.
She’s been spat by rain,
Washed by a downpour, blown away by a gale
Yet she stands tall (all five foot and two)
As she continues to outdo and, hopefully, eventually, reach a breakthrough.
All my no-hassle days lead up to this day.
Woke up late, hurrying to blow dry my hair.
Donated those nine inch locks, thankfully.
Drove in a bit of a hurry, one can only go so fast.
With only a minute to spare before the train starts to roll in, I parked my car. Glanced at the platform and no people. Then I saw some heads moving – on to the other platform!
Running like I have never ran before. Like my life (and face) depended on it. Imagine the shame I have to face for running with my hair flying and my poise gone?
Down the stairs I go. Then up again. Up again one more time. Then, the final lap to the train.
Imagining this was a marathon (wherein I had the slightest chance of winning).
Noticed people have gone in many seconds ago. Just a few more steps…
Then I trip.
Just like those you see on the TV.
Tripped on a bag the lady dropped while walking.
Got on the train.
Just as I was going to get a few winks,Here the train conductor comes announcing,
At the same time hearing his ticket checker phone thingy beeping while checking.
My aisle was trouble free and so were the ticket owners.
Everyone’s been checked and all had their proper destination tickets,
I sighed a big sigh and is now again getting comfy.
I start to close my eyes…
Got to the next station
A sheriff hops in
All fresh and all smiles
When suddenly “Folks, tickets please!”he proudly cries.
Five years ago, who would think of going to Downtown Los Angeles to bike? Are you out of your mind?
Leisure biking in downtown LA was unheard of up until a couple of years ago.
I’d always just think of it as a means to deliver food or a very small parcel.
Hard to navigate traffic, not to mention the one-way streets. Honestly, in all my seventeen years of working in downtown, I could not remember which street goes this way or that way – still.
Then there are big buses, more cars and NO BIKE LANES.
Thanks to the City of LA and Metro and its plans on Bringing Back Broadway, Metro has taken the intiative of dedicating bike lanes around downtown, or at least starting to, encouraging more and more people brave the lanes of downtown LA.
Being given the opportunity to try out their Metro bikes (read: free tickets – finally!), together with couple of my co-workers, we decided to cycle around LA (or more like go around a few blocks) during our lunch break.
Tickets were for free for first 30 minutes. Then $1.25 every minute after.
Because we didn’t want to get too sweaty after biking, good, cool weather was what we hoped for.
And luckily, our wish was granted.
Now, we had to make sure that each one of us would be guaranteed a bike. A very helpful app, Metro Bike Share which tells you the location of where the bikes are and even how many are available for use. Cool, huh?
Just a pair of cons we’ve noticed: 1. Be sure to be armed with a credit card (or two!). The machine would not accept mine. It keeps saying “card read error” no matter which way it was slid in.
2. One machine for an entire fleet of bikes. Luckily, we were the only ones there using the machine. And with the sun shining on the screen makes it harder to read the screen, thus taking up precious time of our lunch break!
1. Machine was touch screen. Just like using an ATM or a smartphone. No problemo.
2. Bikes were sturdy. No worries about those bumps on the road! An adult could easily carry and steer it with ease.
3. It comes with bells and trinkets! On the inner part of the right handlebar. With your hand on the right handlebar, give it a rev and you ring the bell. Haha!
It also has the speed adjustment. Didn’t try it but my other co-worker did. Just don’t try to fiddle with it with a bus behind you. You could get stuck with the big bus trying to eat you from behind. Ha! The bike also comes with a basket. Not those natural, weavy kind. But the metal kind with a closure.
One thing was for sure, biking around downtown was surprisingly — fun!
P.S. Don’t be surprised if the next day your card gets charged $26 and $1. Just temporary charges. In another three days, they will be gone. Granted, of course you have and entered the “free” code.
Not Quite surprised
All heads bowed down
Staring at the screen doe eyed
Didnt even notice the people coming in from out of town.
No sense in chit chat
But just as I happen to see my seatmate’s eyelash bat,
I Laugh on the inside
And get lost watching the walking-on-the-aisle bride.
I could lol at James Cohen in carpool karaoke.
Or drool over James McAvoy promote his movie, Split
Or even go crazy with some apps
All these would be fun to watch while drinking sake
or just watch them watch something elicit.
But can we stand to chat with each other?
There really is no sense
We dont need it
Can we stand to chat with each other?
Giving me time to catch up on my chick flicks.
I-messaging or simply working overtime on the train
Play games on our phones, never resting our brains.
A gaze. A look. A smile,
All comes at a price:
A been-meaning-to-finish WP post
Or a much needed nap or a chance to swat that annoying gnat.
But can we stand to chat with each other?
There really is no sense
We dont need it
Can we stand to chat with each other?
* This post a prequel to the post, Starry-eyed Wednesday *
We meet once a year on this day
Where we drink in this pub and be merry all the way.
We both wear green
And this year, we’re happy being only sixteen.
I always ask, “How are you?”
You always answer, “Divil a bit.”
We just always raise our glass to “Sláinte” (slancha)
Thinking it might be our last hurrah.
It seems like it’s been donkey’s years since we met,
And how much I fondly think of our day along the Boulevard Sunset.
All evening we’re having a whale of a time
And now we observe Daylight Savings Time, it seemed we’ve been robbed of a lifetime.
You’ve given me hints of interest and I love it when you say…
May the road rise up to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
As well as..
May neighbours respect you, trouble neglect you, the angels protect you, and Heaven accept you
I try to impress you with some wisdom words but they always seem to juuust get in the way.
May your thoughts be as glad as the shamrocks. May your heart be as light as a song. May each day bring you bright, happy hours that stay with you all the year long.
I really feel it’s about time I take you to meet my parents no matter how scared I am of them, being my father a very important man, to which you’d reply,
You’ve got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your father was.
By what now seemed like a thousand hundredth swig, you were starting to talk gibberish.
I tried to kiss you and you say,
May you be afflicted with itching without the benefit of scratching.
I just thought you might like a kiss especially your shirt says you’re Irish.
I asked for your number and you kept repeating,
Eighty Four Three Hundred Big-Face
I didn’t get it.
I swear I tried to get your number.
By now you were shouting your number for everyone to hear,
Whilst singing songs and giggling and swaggering your beer
I couldn’t get along with this much merriment and think we had a bit too much of a pint of gat.
It’s all too much now especially when you’ve given me that very much decorated and very much — GREEN HAT.
*Just learned the other day that in China, it is taboo to wear green hat. It means to cheat on your husband.
So, I thought of the mixing the two up*
As they say in Ireland,
A good laugh and a long sleep are the two best cures.
Feeling my way out of the bedroom
As I amble towards the light of another.
Why do we have to spring forward?
When all I wanna do is hug my pillow more inward?
I did manage to get out of the house
Oh how it was still dark with the air fresh and crisp.
As I drive down the Cajon Pass,
Did you feel the moon pulling you back, too?
Did it make you dream of lying down on soft, green grass?
It does make me feel better seeing the sun rise
Walking to the train station seeing my shadow,
Hearing the distant bell of the approaching train to LA
Hoping for a window seat so I can rest my eyes and please give me a pillow.
*Just don’t charge me twelve dollars*
Listening to “When We Dance” that song by Sting,
Leaves sprouting, branches renewing, growing.
Contemplating on how things can be done differently,
Now that surroundings are starting to turn green and cheery.
Getting in the first packed train, thinking it’d soon be leaving,
But, then, noticing the train was getting a bit too crowded,
Looking up, realising, a half full train starting to leave, much to everyone’s surprise,
I guess we all got deceived and we all just gave out, almost simultaneously, a sigh.
Creeping millimeter by millimeter, weren’t we, today?
Bumper to bumper braved the collision after another collision.
Wailing sirens both police and ambulance,
One elevated call, that’s all it took to make way for assistance.
Never mind the people who mock me
I guess I gave too much of a whine
When really all I should
Do is down all the wine.
Think back on what we’ve been through,
Eighty five miles back and forth
The snow, ice and sleet, fires and the searing heat.
High and low winds,
Knots in tummies (sometimes causing winds inside of us, too)
Yes talk of such unforgiving elements!
Who could forget that thought-would-never-end Cajon Crawl?
And now this, the covering of the sinkhole!
I guess what I’m saying is the sun is shining and my glasses are broken.
But life goes on.
Weekend flew by too fast.
Hope you all had a good one despite Friday being a disaster!
And then there’s the inevitable — traffic.
Happy Monday to all.
Tread carefully, go slow
Give distance, give way
Do not want any ka-pows,
Stay alert, stay calm whatever comes my way.
Thick fog, visibility low
Doesn’t matter if car horns blow
Late for the train I am
Two days in a row.
Instead of getting told, “Leave home early.”
Days like today I hope Boss understands,
It’s not me, it’s the traffic (and weather) to blame.
Getting tired of chasing trains,
Getting tired of this lane.
Switching gears I dream of,
Changing lanes I long for.
Until that day, until I am ready, my sails are up,
“All aboard!”Ahoy mates!” I shout!
Just going along this road,
Keeping my distance
Minding my own business
And going places where no one followed,
Why out of the blue you jumped right in front of me?
Was I invisible?
Were there suddenly a long line of followers?
Do you see anyone bring confetti?
No, I will not join this parade, this motorcade.
I will not be known as the one who stayed.
I will be the party popper, the kill joy.
Not too enthusiastic to be in this procession,
And on my part, there will be no hesitation.
Aren’t there times in your life that you wished you had captured in camera but did not get the chance to?
Well, wish no more.
I am crazy with this app I stumbled upon while looking online for some photo editing apps available (for free, of course).
All my hours spent on chasing these moments away!
So, let me share with you some pics on this, super duper windy, Friday. I had to hold on to the lamp post on the platform while waiting for the train to come.
Here are some samples of the “MomentCam” app.Here are some more “moments” with my maties… see if you can spot David Bowie (yeah this was wayyy before he left us), Ed Sheeran and Swiffy (Taylor Swift).
And to all my Chinese friends, Happy Chinese New Year!
Told you I am crazy about this app!
We really did ask for this.
Rain. And more rain.
Because there had been fires in the summer previously, we asked for rain.
And winds that could knock you down while walking while holding your coffee while trying to tighten the knot under your parka.
And foggy windshield.
And slush down the Cajon Pass.
And of course, slow traffic.
And a two minute-late Metrolink train.
And me arriving ten seconds later – running.