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Wish I had a doppelgänger.

Wish I could create one.

One who could pretend me even for a day – at work or on days when I’m going to be late. One co-worker who saw me last Thursday, when I was on time, remarked, “Oh you’re here! You fin’lly managed to wake up early this time?” I was insulted! How could people be so insensitive? This coming from one who knows what I’m going through??? I can’t blame them. Imagine you see someone at work who’s late everytime looking sleepy (just tired). Can’t blame ’em. Even (supposedly) friends don’t understand it anymore. I am alone in this. Along with 25,000 people who commute along the Cajon Pass everyday.

Today is definitely playing doubles on me.

First, I missed my train again today. Didn’t see any accidents (no reported ones either) but just got slow on the freeway.

Second, while I was texting my butler that I missed the train again, a train going to LA direction starts pulling in. This must be my lucky day. Train’s late today. I just might still be in time for work,I thought. Because I wasn’t expecting any late trains today even after checking first with the Metrolink service update, I thought this might be just my lucky day. So I made the mad dash for the train. Grabbing my bag quick and running out the car, I ran as fast as I could. I could feel the wind blowing on my back where my wet hair, now flying, was. I looked at the empty platforms. Nobody was waiting. Train didn’t stop. It only slowed down. Then it was off again.

I ran for nothing.

Felt humiliated for running after the train that didn’t stop. Felt stupid for driving 80mph to make it in time – in vain. Felt even more stupid thinking the train was late too.

Felt defeated as my eyes and nose start to feel hot now more than ever as I walk back to my car.

*Repeat Off* – yeah, if only…