I admit your song was not my first song to sing.
I was four years old. My dad captured/ recorded me on audio tape singing Steve Miller’s “Abradabracadabra”- mixed with my own made-up words! Instead of saying, “I heat up! I can’t go down”, I say something else in Tagalog that sounds like it.
Grown up now, I’ve re-discovered your songs helping me sort things out, being with me — seeing and singing with me through the stages of my life.
Like all teenagers who think they’re “grown-ups”, and “Moving Out” is the best option there is would solve all problems. Sometimes even uttered by my parents at their height of anger and possibly out of frustration as well.
Moving on but not out yet — onto that first job and feeling like a Bigshot — getting that first pay check, no matter how small. Getting ahead of myself. Acting like a fool. Liking the white, hot spotlight, the center of attention all the time.
Pffft! The bubble just punctured. It’s Just A Fantasy, that just because there’s a newfound freedom, it doesn’t mean it can be stretched too far. I’m sure my parents were thinking, “You can speak your mind.. but not on my time.”
Eventually immigrated to another country (yeah, moving out has a completely different concept for me), where everything felt foreign at first, just like when I hear you sing, C’etait toi (great one by the way). Then I met my future husband, Mr. TL, who appreciated and shared my love for music. The only one I know of who’s got more music collection than I do. A huge plus for me. Oftentimes our conversation of music will go on and on and on.
Imagined him singing, “The Longest Time” when we met (although I know he’s got a completely different set of tunes playing in his head) while I — I felt like the Uptown Girl (I heard it’s OK for me to mention this again). Most Coveted Girl in town. Hottest news. And after dating a few months, he fin’lly did tell me about it. It was all a matter of trust, I suppose. So I said yes and married him. He has his whole lifetime to make ME feel his love!
Marriage and having kids, sometimes make me experience and go to extremes. Sometimes, I’m close to the borderline – of insanity. Ups and downs. I get too high or too low, ain’t no in-betweens. When I’m about to lose my temper, I always tell myself, I’m Always A Woman and get my second wind, while Mr. TL thinks he’s An Innocent Man most of the time. Ha ha. He’s only human, after all.
Hitting an all-time low with the loss of my unborn baby. I found solace again from you – Goodnight My Angel. Humming and singing (and crying) while imagining what could have been, at the same time, saying goodbye to my dear baby. It helped me cope.
Then there’s a part of me that wished I continued on with my music lessons. How would it feel playing the piano at a bar while people put bread in your jar? I’d always wonder…
And so it goes and so it goes … Ain’t it wonderful to be alive when the rock ‘n roll plays?
And when my hair turns grey, I just think of the song, “Just the Way You Are” being sung by Mr. TL — then I can live another year dye-free.
I’ll be ready when the time comes (kids have all moved out) — the time to remember cos it will not last forever. I’ll be reminiscing of the times working my fingers to the bone.
I hope I didn’t start any fire — or did I?
I can only hope this letter does get to you but then it may just be a case of nobody-knows-but-me.
And though You May Be Right (I really don’t care), I may be crazy (I’m just a stranger to you), I suppose I just wanted to let you know that I hope you find sympathy in times of need just like how I found mine in your songs (thank you).
I reckon, better to leave a tender moment alone.
Maybe I’ll see you in Miami? 2017? Even Madison Square Garden…
Thank you for reading this and keep rockin’ and rollin’!